Pregnancy: Weight Gain on the Brain.

I have been weighing myself regularly for the past five years. I have never weighed myself daily, but usually on a weekly basis. It started in 2007, when I decided to finally get serious about getting healthy. For me, that meant losing weight. I lost about 30ish pound. Through-out that process I weighed myself once per week. During my weight maintenance I also weighed once a week.  Until 2007, I’d never been good about keeping track of my weight. I know what my heaviest weight was, because I remember the day those numbers showed up the scale. I can remember exactly where I was, and how I felt.  Consequently, I know what I weighed when I got pregnant. Two pounds up from my lightest weight since 2007, but still about 10 pounds lower than I had been the year before. I gained 10 pounds during maintenance of my weight loss, so I suppose that wasn’t maintenance?

Anyway, that is a long way of saying, I know what I weighed the week I concieved.

Prior to getting pregnant, weight gain was one of my biggest fears. I am, according to society, obese. I always worried about what an OB would say about my weight when I got pregnant, and what would happen when I did. Would my weight shoot up? Would I be one of those obese women who lose weight during pregnancy? Would I never be able to lose the baby weight? This last one was and still is my greatest fear.

I have gained weight, but I don’t know exactly how much. My husband took the scale with him to Wyoming. I know what my weight was at my first Dr.s appointment, on the Doctor’s scale. On that day, at nine weeks pregnant, I think I was up about 1 pound. The problem is, I can’t ever seem to remember what my weight was at my most recent Doctor’s appointment. I think my weight gain at my 20 week appointment was 12 pounds. Maybe it was 14.

I have an appointment in 30 minutes. I’ll update with my current relative weight gain later.

I have to admit, I’m getting more nervous. As my weight at the doctor’s office gets closer and closer to my “all time high” I find myself feeling like I should try to do things to gain less weight. NOTE- I am NOT dieting, I am NOT trying to lose weight. I know that right now, the most important thing is being healthy for my baby, and restricting in any unhealthy way is not the way to do it. I don’t believe in restriction anyway. It’s not how I lost weight. But, I find myself in a weird mental place. “What outfit should I wear today, so that I will weigh the least amount at the Doctors?” “Am I going to be able to go the bathroom before I get on the scale?”

Isn’t it interesting how the scale rules our lives and thoughts? Even at the time in our lives when weight gain is normal, expected, and desired?

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