Pregnancy Update: 40 Weeks

My nephew Ben, born by emergency c-section, 4 weeks early

Today is my due date, according to my LMP. According to my charting, I think that Friday or Saturday should be my due date, but when we are only talking a matter of days, I suppose that is neither here nor there.

Yesterday was my 40 week appointment, and I have to admit, I was once again hopefull that my body had progressed. I’d has an increased amount of contracts in the last week, including low back pain. I thought for sure that I would be 2cm’s dilated. At my appointment, everything looked good, baby’s heart rate was good, and my belly measured 42 weeks. UGH. 42?!?! I swear, this baby better not weight 11 pounds.

And then it was time for my internal check. I don’t find these as painful as some people have described them to be, mostly just uncomfortable, still better than going to the dentist in my opinion. And the midwife announced…..1 centimeter. Still. Damn.

She asked me what I wanted to do. I told her that I wanted to wait on induction as long as she would let me. She said, that based on my belly measurement, she is sure that the baby is large. Duh. She suggested that if nothing happened (ie going into labor naturally) we induce this weekend. And I was crushed. Tears welled in my eyes, as I asked question, but I was able to keep them in, at least until she left the room.

The plan is to check in to the hospital on Saturday night at 5pm, insert cervadil, and then in the morning start pitocin.

Here is the thing, I’m sort of a situational hypochondriac. Have I written about that before? Even though we only made the plan for induction, in my mind, I was already in the Operating Room getting a C-section due to failure to progress. Even though we still had 4 days for me to go into labor naturally, all I could think about was, what was in my opionion, the worst case scenario.

After the midwife left the room, my husband hugged me and I burst into tears. Damn. I hate crying in public. I pulled it together, and went to the check out window and made an appointment for this Friday for a non stress test, and one final cervical check. I also made my 6 week post-partum appoint, which sort of tripped me out. ūüôā

Ever since everyone around me started having babies, and I started reading pregnancy and birth blogs, I knew that my ultimate hope was for a natural, non-medicated birth. Yesterday, I felt like I had already failed, like my body had failed, and what I so firmly believe it was made to do. I let my self have a pity party, and call and cry to my mommy, and then I started talking some sense into my self.

A) there was (is!) still time for me to go into labor naturally.

B) even if I don’t go into active labor, my cervix could dilate and efface more, and by Sunday, an induction might be easier.

C) having an induction, doesn’t necessarily mean my hopes for a natural birth are off the table. It might be harder, and I might chose to have an epidural, but the option has not totally dissappeared.

D) having a c-section is not the end of the world. People survive them all the time, babies survive them all the time.

E) and at the end of the day, and most importantly, the only thing that matters is that the baby (and I) come through this alive and healthy.

There are only three “givens” in pregnancy: an egg was fertilized, you are pregnant for 37-42 weeks, and then there is a baby. Everything else is a guessing game, and while births usually follow a typical pattern, there is no way of knowing how YOURS will go.

So, today, I am working on letting go. What ever will be, will be. I am not trying too many crazy “natural” induction techniques, just bouncing/ hip swivels on an exercise ball. Not having the birth I dreamed of, does not make me a failure, nor negate how easy and healthy my pregnancy has been.

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Pregnancy: Week 28 Update

So, this week, I am 28 weeks pregnant. Which is sort of unbelievable to me.

Today I had my last appointment with my OB here in Idaho, well that is, unless I fail my glucose intolerance test. Yipes!

I had to drink 50grams of glucose 30 mins before my appointment. 20 minutes before I drank the glucose I had a spinace salad with chicken, avocado, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and carrots.¬† I have no idea how this well affect my results, but I was directed to “eat as normal” so that is what I did. Directly after drinking the glucose I felt a little naseous, and I think if I had found myself leaning over the toilet, I could have willed myself to throw up. I kept it down though. We will see how it¬†goes. The juice, was really really gross.

Other than the glucose, my appointment went well. My blood pressure was good, and my weight gain was right on track (3.5 pounds in the last 3 weeks).

I have not done traditional pregnancy updates, but I thought for this post, I would post a few statistics.

Number of Weeks Pregnant: 27 weeks and 6 days.

Number of pounds gained: Aproximately 26. If I continue to gain at a pound a week, I will have gained just under 40 pounds. Oh man. I will not worry, I will not obsess.

Number of total mental breakdowns that I think are related to pregnancy: just one.

Number of months I have lived apart from my husband: 4

Number of maternity pants I own: 8

Number of maternity pants that I like: 5

Number of workouts per week: 3 or 4

Ok, those are all of the numbers I can think of. It’s been a pretty good pregnancy so far, but starting tomorrow I am going to be in my third trimester! Ack! Is this when it is going to start getting hard?

 

Living with the In-Laws: The Food Situation

Tonight for dinner I am making my self a steak, cooked in coconut oil, seasoned with salt and pepper. On the side I am having mashed sweet potatoes. Yum.

This will be the first time that I have cooked what I consider a “real” meal in a few months. Which, is honestly, quite strange for me, as cooking real meals was my norm prior to getting pregnant and living with my in-laws.

When I got pregnant, and ended up with morning sickness that didn’t allow me to cook with out gagging, my husband cooked all our meals, and that was fine. Then, he moved and I moved in with my in-laws. Again, I love them dearly, but we eat totally differently. My father-in-law doesnt cook, and my mother-in-law doesnt like to. She cooks for him probably 3 or¬† 4 nights a week. Dinner usually consists of some kind of protein (ground beef, chicken, pot roast) starch (potatoes, bread) and a veggie (either canned or iceberg lettuce salad). Of course, there is the occasional pasta based dish. On the nights that my mother-in-law cooked, I just ate what she cooked. Which resulted in two things: less veggies and more starches in my diet. On the nights that she didn’t cook, I would find things I could stomach making myself for dinner. Boxed soup, salads with sandwich meat, sandwiches and chips, etc.

At this house we have a WHOLE pantry of processed foods. Some of which, I think are helpful to have on hand: canned vegetables, canned tomatoes, unsweetened tomato sauce, broth, nuts, raisins. Some of which, are not helpful for me, when I am trying to eat as healthy as possible for baby; cereal, pop tarts, fiber one bars, chips, cookies, etc.¬† I do have one cabinet in the kitchen for my food, and I keep my pantry staples in there, and one draw in the fridge for my veggies/perishables. I don’t meant ot make this sound like I am not allowed the other food, my in-laws just promised to stay out of the ones that are “mine.”

So, what is my point? My point is that I am not surprised that I gained 10 pounds last month. Last week, I cleaned up my diet, focused on whole foods and healthy fats, and my in-laws scale read 5 pounds lighter than the doctors. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am NOT dieting. I am NOT cutting calories, I am NOT trying to lose weight, I am just trying to eat as healthy as possible, and for me this includes some treats. I also realize that the two scales could have a weight discrepancy. But, I feel better, and that matters to me.

I also, do not think it’s my in-laws fault that I made poor eating choices. I made them. It’s harder, not being in my own space, where I can control everything in my environment, but I still have the capability to make the healthiest choice for me.

And, that steak and mashed sweet potatoes I had for dinner? A.MAZING. seriously, puts a sandwich to shame.

Hiring…myself?

For the past few days, I have been interviewing people for my job. I have to tell you, it’s¬† a trip.

We have about 125 applicants. When I applied for this job, I think there were 5 applicants.  Quite the difference, sign of the times right?

Before I knew I was leaving this job, I had plenty of days when I wished that I was. We all have those days at work right? Where you just don’t want to do your job anymore? I mean, for me, it’s few and far between, but they do exist. But, now that it’s a reality it’s sort of freaking me out a little bit.

I want, more than anything, to live with my husband again, but leaving my job makes me panic a little bit, and i’m starting to get a little bit emotional about it. I have a fantastic job, great co-workers, and an amazing boss. When I interview these candidates, I go through a strange succession of emotions.¬† Doubt, disbelief, feeling like this is MY job, and you don’t get to have it!

I sort of feel like I am leaving my baby with a baby sitter. The plan is to have the new person hired before my last day, so  can train them. I can already feel myself starting to want to micromanage the person to death. To tell them everything that I do and how I do it.

I think this is all part of making the transition to my new life. Even though my husband is already gone, not that much has changed for me, aside from that one gigantic factor. It’s all part of learning to let go, and move on. Right?

“You’ve traded Steve-o for Tivo.”

So, when Scott moved to Wyoming and we decided I would move in with my in-laws, we purchased me a lap top, so I could have a computer of my own at their house. Scott was taking our desk top with him, and while my in-laws have both a desk top and lap top, there is nothing more awkward than using someone elses computer.

With the new laptop, came the ability to stream Netflix, my new love, or rather, the love that keeps me company at night before bed. I sort of love watching TV  shows on Netflix, so much more gratifying than having to wait a week (or more!) for the next update.

So far, I have watched the most recent, but not current season of Grey’s Anatomy,¬† seasons 1-4 of Mad Men (how hot is Don Draper…seriously), and am currently on season two of Gossip Girl.

But, it is really healthy to spend time with my computer? I feel like Miranda in that Sex and the City Episode, where she is obsessed with her TIVO. I find myself looking forward to getting into bed at night, so I can watch an episode or two of whatever I’m currently hooked on.

I suppose looking forward to getting into bed with my computer is better than crying about being lonely. Although, a word to the wise? Don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy while pregnant. Ever.